It Goes So Fast

This is such a crazy busy season. I have been busy with all sorts of personal projects. Our family went away and spent a weekend with some dear friends. We are all getting ready for the holiday.

PLUS our baby turned 5!

Little Miss has been 5 for a week and a half now and I am still in shock. We have three new babies in our family/life and in my head, she is still new baby too. Didn't I just bring her home from the hospital? 

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This year we gave Little Miss a new "realistic" doll...the main reason she got the doll is because she was begging to get her old baby clothes out to dress her dolls. Well, two things...I didn't want to go in the attic to get the clothes and none of her dolls fit the real baby clothes.  So now she has a doll  that fits the clothes from the attic that I finally got out. As I got her gifts spread set out the night before her birthday I remember doing the same thing for her five years before that...this time instead of dressing my baby, she was dressing HER baby. I thought about the time we will be getting ready for her own babies...the ones I don't buy at the store. 

It all goes so fast.

Each stage has its own challenges and its own rewards, but the thing that stays the same is that it happens in a blink of an eye.

Our children teach us far more than we teach them. And I feel this birthday our daughter taught me a few lessons that MAY be helpful for you doing this busy season. 

Five Lessons From a Five Year Old

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Celebrate the way you want. This chick wanted a ninja birthday party...even though she had planned a different party for months. If ninjas were going to make her happy then by all means, let's have a ninja party. Life is short...celebrate. 

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Do what brings you joy. Little Miss had NEVER been to Chuck E Cheese and for her family birthday gathering she really wanted to go. It doesn't bring me joy, but it did her so that is what we did. The look of excited on her face didn't disappoint. You do you and what makes you happy!

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Live in the Moment. This is a person who knows how to live in the moment. She isn't hung up on the past or the future. She lives for right this second. We should all be so lucky. 

 

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Love Hard. Little Miss loves hard. She loves life hard. She loves people hard. She loves EVERYTHING with every ounce of her being. Loving hard can take a lot, but it is worth it. 

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Be a Badass. I mean, she didn't say it.  But  I will. She is a tough chick. She makes me want to be a bad ass too. You are awesome...show it. You teach other people how to treat you. Teach them you are a badass. 

Life is short and it goes by so fast...I hope you are enjoying the ride. See you soon!

 

 

Setting Priorities

I would do anything for my kids.  Move heaven and earth for them. I have stayed up all night perfecting presents, I have held vigil in their beds when they are sick, I have cleaned up so many horrible things that came out of their bodies, and daily I make sure they are clothed, fed, healthy, and happy. I do it all because I love them. I make them a priority. I, like you, make a lot of things a priority...but not usually myself. Sound familiar? 

You're Number One

You're Number One

I stay up late at night to steal moments to myself, but turns out that isn't really taking care of myself or setting myself as a priority. I know I am not alone. Just check out  here or here or here.

Parents...and maybe moms in particular need a moment...a moment to ourselves. I love it when it is quiet late at night and I can read or watch something that is inappropriate for younger eyes or I can blog.

I never put myself first. I bet you don't either. 

Part of my neglect of myself is to let things I care about go first...

  • Too busy this morning to eat or have a cup of hot coffee? I will grab some kid snack later or I will slurp down that cold coffee. 
  • No time to workout? Oh, I can do that later. When? Who knows!
  • Can't carve out a little bit of time for me to get my hair done, or to get myself something, or to have a moment.
  • And sadly I let Posing as Parents go all the time. I care about this blog, but if I run short on time, energy, or even patience this is the first to go. 

Why? I would be so mad at my kids if they treated themselves the way I treat myself. 

I would love to make a sweeping statement about how the buck stops here...things are going to change from now on...etc. But that isn't sustainable is it? So instead I am going to make a pledge of sorts to myself to help me focus on what is important.

A Focus for Me (and you, yes you)

  • Making Myself a Priority-You KNOW it is important and it is what you would want for any one you love. You got to love yourself yo and make you a big deal. What do want? What do you love? What brings you joy? What feeds your soul?

And if you want some more explicit tips check here, here, and here

You are going to fail, that is okay. Keep trying. 

You are #1, baby!

 

 

Love a Little Harder

This paper isn't big enough.

This paper isn't big enough.

I was typing into the wee hours of the morning to have my post ready first thing Wednesday and then I started to doze off. I would type and look back at just jibberish so I decided the best thing to do at that moment is sleep and get the post out once everyone got to where they needed to be in the morning. But as I type my post has changed...I will write about teaching our kids empathy another day. 

Lately I feel like I am just a step behind. My To Do List is growing and turns out there aren't more hours in the day. Lame. So I am focusing on what I always struggle with...being organized and more prepared in my personal life. Once upon a time in my work life I was so on it, and for my family I got my kids lives and schedules worked out and I am there, but when it comes to me...I am falling behind. (Also, those last four words made me think of Cyndi Lauper and "Time After Time" and now I am listening to that...no wonder I can't keep on track! Good gravy, pull it together lady!)

This is just life. It is busy and there is only so much time and energy. I started a fitness group and it is so organized to help keep you on track and I feel like a hot mess trying to figure out what I am going to do next. I plan out my family's week, but for my own I just wing it. We all get caught up in the act of being busy...this isn't something that we should be proud of...it is not a badge of being a good person. I am much more impressed with people who are doing less stuff and creating more substantial relationships/work/art/etc. 

So if there is only so much of this life that we get, perhaps we should do a few things to capitalize on the time we have (this may be more for me than you...I am okay with that)...

We should do what we love.-Life is short, sometimes painfully so. Be with the people you want to be with, do the things you want to do, enjoy this time. Of course, we all have to do some BS, but for the most part try to focus on the love. 

Yes, we need to make money to pay for the things that are important to us. For our family, it is important to have a house, cars, activities for our kids, etc. Those things cost money so we have to make money to pay for it. Right now that falls directly on my husband. Listen, I know it is a privilege to be a stay at home parent. I am honored to contribute to our family in this way and I am eternally grateful that my husband works so hard to provide for us. (And a very generous grandmother helps too). I get that not everyone has this option. 

However, hopefully we can do things that bring us joy...sometimes that happens in our career and sometimes it doesn't. If you have to work someplace that doesn't bring you joy, then make sure you are spending all your other time focusing on what makes you happy...family, friends, pets, traveling...whatever that is.

Do what you love. Don't just talk about it...do it. 

My best job.

My best job.

We should set out our intentions.- You have to put it out in the world what you want. I don't know if I really believed this or thought about this until I met my husband. He is magic about this stuff.

Recently we got another boat. He already has a little one that he found a sweet deal on and the lady was so amazing and gave him all this other stuff (this happens to him all the time). BUT this new-to-us boat he set his intention on for YEARS. It was sitting in someone's driveway for decades. He would drive by to look at "his" boat. He would occasionally go to the door and ask about it. They had reasons why they couldn't sell it. So he kept on and on. He would drive by, he would talk about it, he had his eye on this boat. Last weekend he stopped by again and the couple said they were getting rid of it this weekend. They agreed on a price of $80 for the boat and $20 for the trailer. And he got the damn boat. He does that stuff all the time. He puts it in the universe and some how it happens.

We should all do that. If you want to get healthier, set your intention to work out, to eat whole foods, to get more sleep, etc. Set out your plan. If you want to be a better parent, work for it...set it as your goal and make certain your actions are consistent with your intention.

Willing something to happen isn't enough. 

The Boat (before it was washed).

The Boat (before it was washed).

We should value our time.-This one is really tough and as a parent it can be nearly impossible. Our time on earth is not infinite, your time is valuable...treat it as such.

What do you spend your time doing? I look at my phone WAY too much...it doesn't deserve my time. When I am an old lady I am not going to be glad that I spent time on my phone. I am going to be glad I spent time with my loved ones. I am going to be glad for the time I was with my kids, and my husband, and my family and friends. I am going to remember the hard times and the amazing times...they all add to the story of my life.

Your time is valuable for your work...that is why you should be paid what you are worth; your time is valuable for volunteer work you may do...it is valuable to the organization and the volunteering adds to the richness of your life (hopefully); and your time is valuable for spending time with those you love...you won't regret being with those who are your family...born into or made...whoever it is you call your people. 

The things you spend time on should reflect your values. 

Time after time.

Time after time.

We should love harder.-And last, but definitely not least we should love harder. In my family we love hard...you know that kind of love that kind of hurts...we squeeze you, we are passionate, and we are bursting with emotion. Maybe it is some kind of condition that I have passed down to my kids, but we love hard.

We all should love hard. Remember how life is short? You want the people in your world to know how you feel about them...I mean, unless they are a total a-hole...use your discretion to decide if you should tell them that or not. But definitely tell people you love them. Hug them. Give that compliment to that stranger. Smile at people on the street. Help your neighbor. Tell your kids you love them again and again and again. Don't let it ever be a question. Love your people and this life hard...your time on this earth may be finite, but love isn't...it keeps going. 

You are the love you want to see in the world...share your love...love hard. 

They love hard!

They love hard!

 

Well, I apologize that I didn't have the post up first thing...I like it posted early. I am going to set some intentions for myself, value my time, and love the crap out of this life. See you Friday!