On social media, women (and men) who have been sexually harassed or assaulted as asked to write "Me too" or #metoo as a status so we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem. Almost everyone I know posted it...including myself,
It isn’t something that I talk about. There has been multiple incidents of harassment and there has been worse. At the time I tried to do all the things I was "supposed" to do…I told people, I tried to report it...I did the right thing. It was a different time. It was easier not to fight it, to sweep it under the rug, and to move on.
Then the Stanford rape happened and brought up all sorts of feelings. The biggest feels was from Joe Biden.
When Joe Biden wrote these words I wept. I thought that our culture had changed.
Now over a year later and I feel like we have slid back decades…not just about sexual assault or harassment, but about race, gay rights, class, etc.
Every day we are hearing more and more about famous sexual predators…even the ones that hold elected political office. It is just the tip of the iceberg.
I am at a loss.
This quote is also floating around and it speaks to how sexual assault is put on women and not on men.
The onus needs to be on the one doing the raping…not the victim. Our language needs to change.
It isn’t about teaching our daughters how to avoid being raped…it is about teaching our boys not to rape.
My husband is a good man. He has always taught our children gentle lessens…you stop whatever you are doing when people tell you stop. Tickling or shooting Nerf or whatever it is…it is fun as long as everyone is having fun. My husband is always teaching the children about consent in a way that is age appropriate. He doesn’t use those words, but he is engraining that lesson over and over and over again in various ways. And when it counts, I hope our children make the right choices.
And I pray all the time that no one violates our girl or our boy. It is horrible to think of but I do...I pray that they are watched over and are safe and we set up systems to help keep them safe...in the world...online...every where.
I hope that this current culture changes.
What I can change is the words I use. I can surround myself with people who do not perpetuate rape culture. I can vote for politicians who stand up for women.
I am a mama. I can raise kind children. The most important thing I feel I can personally do is to raise children who are good people...raise children who will be caring adults. I can work for a better tomorrow.
In the future I hope my children never can answer "me too."